


do you feel better now as he falls to the ground

by smoothniallsmooth



Category: One Direction
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Court Case, I cry a lot, Louis is a dick, M/M, Sadness, Suicide, an au but not an au, harry cries a lot, i love louis, idk I suck at this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:26:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2855804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothniallsmooth/pseuds/smoothniallsmooth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Harry, open the door." Louis' voice comes though the thick wood door of the bathroom, hard and cold. Harry pulls his legs closer to his chest, rocking back and forth as he tugs on his brown locks. He can hear the group of people outside the room yelling at Louis to let them in, to let Harry go. Tears prickle his vision as he replays the sense over and over and over again in his head. How could he be so stupid? So clueless as to what Louis was capable of. How could he have let this happen. </p>
<p>Or the one where Harry loves Louis but Louis is abusive so Harry just cries a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you feel better now as he falls to the ground

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I wrote this bc I got obsessed with this cool vine and it turned into a fic and it's sad and I hate myself for it but I really like it to but anyways thank you to Liz for picking the title and reading it as I go and laughing at me as I backspace love you :*

 

Have you ever felt like you were drowning? Like you couldn't take in enough air, like your body had slowly started to shut down and your mind began to play everything out just that much slower. Can you feel the difference? The shifting of balance when you start to feel your world fall apart before your eyes. It doesn't come all at once, it builds and shifts and toys with you till the last stand of sanity you think you have is shredded apart and you're left with nothing but an empty body and a shattered mind.

***

"Harry, open the door." Louis' voice comes though the thick wood door of the bathroom, hard and cold. Harry pulls his legs closer to his chest, rocking back and forth as he tugs on his brown locks. He can hear the group of people outside the room yelling at Louis to let them in, to let Harry go. Tears prickle his vision as he replays the sense over and over and over again in his head. How could he be so stupid? So clueless as to what Louis was capable of. How could he have let this happen.

***

Harry has never heard silence this loud before, as Niall sits on the floor stunned holding his cheek, Liam squaring in front of him with concern and anger swimming over his features. Louis breathing heavily as he looks down on Niall and Liam, his hands still curled into fist, twitching and shaking as he glares harshly at the Irishman on the ground. Zayn's body is tight and rigged, standing in front of Harry to block him from the feathery haired boy who had just punched the blonde.

"Lou," Harry whispers into the quiet air, his tongue heavy with the single word as his head pokes over Zayn's shoulder slowly to get a better view of the older boy. Louis turns his head briefly to look at Harry before snapping his gaze back to Niall and Liam, who was assisting the blonde in standing up.  
"Are you done talking shit now Horan?" Louis spits, taking a threatening step forward. Liam slides in front of Niall, his gaze hard and eyes alight with what Harry could only describe as hatred.

"He wasn't talking shit you arsehole he was making a joke! You can't just fucking punch him!" Liam shouts, his voice deep and protective as he pushes into Louis' space.  
"This doesn't fucking concern you Payne." Louis growls, straightening his shoulders. Even though Louis was smaller then Liam he still had the ability to tower over anyone with his presents alone.

"It concerns all of us Louis! You fucking _hit Niall._ " Liam hisses, his voice flooded with anger. "He was fuckin' accusing me of cheating!" Louis booms, venom dripping with each word as he push Liam back.  
"He asked if you has a late night!" Liam retorted, his own hands balled into fist.  
"He fuckin' knew Harry and I didn't share a room last night. You all fuckin' did. He knew not to say anything, _he fuckin' knew."_ Louis accuses, his jaw set tight. Harry starts to shake slightly thinking about last night.

Louis had gotten beyond drunk at some club, dancing and flirting with guys and girls alike as Harry cried himself to sleep after he saw the pictures on twitter. He'd locked the hotel door and didn't get up to open it when Louis started pounding on the door at four in the morning yelling at the curly haired boy till Paul came and made him sleep in Zayn's room.

"Louis I think you need to calm down." Zayn spoke up, still standing in front of Harry like he thought Louis might start throwing punches again. Harry was afraid he might.  
Louis turned on his heels and stalked over to the raven haired boy, grabbing the front of his shirt in his fist and pulling him closer so they were face to face, their noses touching.  
"I didn't fuckin' ask for your opinion Malik." Louis sneered, his teeth bearing.

"Lou," Harry repeats, his usually husky voice nothing but a whisper now as his eyes fill slowly and steadily with tears. Harry wishes he could say Louis wasn't always like this, angry and mean, punching his friends. Screaming at the crew, partying every night and coming back to the hotels drunk off his arse. Harry wishes his boy didn't make him cry every night, make him feel like he could have prevented this change somehow. Louis wasn't always so angry, so violent. After four years of being in the spotlight, hiding a relationship. Never being able to make his own choices. Not having the simplest of freedom. It takes a tole on all of them, but it's hit Louis the hardest and now they're all paying for it.  
"Louis stop," Harry pleads, taking a step closer to the two with his arm stretched out like he was going to try and touch Louis, to sooth his anger, to tell him it's okay. That Harry knows he wouldn't do anything to ruin their relationship, not after they have work so damn hard to stay together. The fights with management, the hate from some of the fans. The long nights spent trying to show each other how much they really did love one another.

Only for Zayn to push him back with an arm placed over his middle. Harry knew that's when Louis really broke, he saw the fire start behind those beautiful blue eyes the second he saw Zayn's arm move. Louis yanks Zayn hard by the shirt so they're even closer together if that was possible, his next words holding hate and disgust for his own best friend.

"Trying to protect my own boyfriend from me _Malik_? Trying to keep him from me?"  
Zayn doesn't say anything, just swallows and tries to school his features into making it look like he doesn't care, like he's not terrified of the older boy.

"Show me I don't have too and I'll stop." Zayn finally says, his voice evenly set as Louis rips his hand from the boy's shirt. "Fuck you, fuck all of you." Louis hisses, glaring hard at the three boys before turning his gaze to Harry, his eyes not softening like they're suppose to. Like they use to. "Harry, come here." Louis orders, his stance confident as he tilts his nose up, waiting for Harry to walk over to his side. Waiting for Harry to obay. Harry takes in a shaky breath, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to choke back a sob. Louis was talking to him like he was a dog, a dog that had just tore up a throw pillow and was about to be punished for it.

"If you think we're letting him near you right now you're fucking insane." Niall interjects before Harry can move, his hand that was holding his cheek falling as he moves to stand next to Zayn. Liam following him close behind till the three boys stood between the couple. "Are you fuckin' kidding me? You're going to try and keep me away from my own boyfriend?" Louis growls, stepping towards his band mates. "You need to get your shit together Louis." Is all Liam says before turning his back on the fuming older lad to wrap a hand around Harry's shoulder, silent sobs racking the boy's body as he watches on. He's sick of crying, but he doesn't think he's going to stop anytime soon. "Com'n Harry, let's go get ready for the show." Liam whispers in his ear as he leads him out of the rehearsal room, Louis shouting profanities at their backs.

***

Something a lot of people don't know is Harry is a great actor, he may seem full of sunshine and dimpled smiles but for ages now there hasn't been a day where he hasn't found himself breaking down and crying. Hidding away in the hotel room or the bathroom, crying his heart out over the boy who's meant to love him. No one knows he cries himself to sleep waiting for Louis to come back to the room, no one knows he hides his pain behind the music and laughter. The boys have an idea but they don't know how deep it cuts. At shows he prides himself in making sure the fans don't see the red eyes, the pain. Or the hurt every time he catches a glims of the boy he's mad for. Harry tries to be as happy and carefree as Niall, talking to the fans, bouncing around the stage, and trying to have the best time he can. It's not a challenge usually, not unless the day had been particularly horrid. Like today.

After Liam had lead Harry out of the room he had brought him to the dressing room and held him close as he cried and cried and cried. Liam didn't say much, couldn't say anything really. How do you tell one of your best friends their boyfriend might be on the break of becoming abusive? That he may already be mentally. So Liam just sits there and holds the sobbing boy till his tears dried up and his hands weren't shaking and his voice was just on the side of overly husky. When it was an hour before they were meant to go on Zayn and Niall come into the room and joined the boys in a massive huddle on the couch. No one really speaks, they just hold Harry till Paul comes in to tell them it was time to take the stage.

Louis was already waiting by the entrance, his hair shaggy and his white sleeveless shirt hanging off of his angelic frame like always. His face was masked with a neutral expression, his beautiful blue eyes still hard and unforgiving. Harry felt like crying all over again when Niall and Liam stepped in front of him, Zayn moving to Louis' side as the beginning cords of midnight memories began to play through the stadium. Harry braced himself with a smile that was just on the side of too big before taking his mic from the box, they hadn't even done their usually routine for before shows. The boys were still separating Louis from Harry. Niall had a pound of makeup on his cheek to cover up the forming bruise as they take the stage, Harry's voice ringing though the stadium as the crowd screamed as loud as possible. The world was still turning even if Harry felt as if it had stopped as soon as Louis threw that punch.

***

Half way through the show and Harry was patting himself on the back for not bursting into a fit of tears, Louis had been trying to get close to him since they took the stage. Harry having to walk faster down the runway or latch onto one of the other boys. He hates this, that he can't get within three feet of his boyfriend without being pulled away or told to move away from him. It happens on most nights but tonight it was even worse because the other boys were getting between them. Blocking Louis from Harry. Liam had even physically pushed Louis back when he tried to get near Harry. The curly haired boy could tell how pissed Louis was getting, he was snapping at Liam more then usual. Not talking to Niall or Zayn unless it was something he was told to say. Harry was waiting for the ball to drop, waiting for his boy to snap. Harry was just glad it didn't happen on stage.

***

"Pull that shit one more time Payne and I'll make you regret it." Louis snarls, pushing a shirtless Liam hard in the chest, making his back collied with the wall. Everyone in the room froze, staring at the two in the corner of the dressing room. Harry's lip starts to wobble and his hands shake as Paul moves forward to pull Louis away from the other boy.

"Get the fuck off me!" Louis shouts, ripping himself from Paul's gasps as Liam pushes himself off the wall. Louis makes a beeline for Harry, pushing Niall out of the way to reach the curly haired boy, the Irishman falling to the floor with a curse. Large salty tears now fall from Harry's green eyes as Louis grabs him by the wrist, tugging him out of the room despise the protest of almost everyone in the room. Louis' grip is tight enough to hurt but the taller boy stays silent as the older lad drags him into the first open room, pressing him up against the wall with both arms pinned to his side. Harry whimpers, his eyes screwed shut, turning his head to the side as tears continue to descend down his cheeks. Louis' nails dig roughly into his wrist as he growls in his ear.

"You're not going to pull any of this shit tonight you got it? You're not gonna lock the god damn door to the room and you're not going to let anyone but me in. Understood?"  
Harry nods twice, his whole body shaking as Louis bites not so gently at his ear before manhandling Harry's head down into a bruising kiss involving to much teeth and to many tears. When Louis pulled back he patted Harry roughly on the cheek twice before spinning on his heels and exiting the room. Harry inhales a shaky breath, the air in the room seems hot and mucky, filled with to much seriousness and pain. Harry's back slips down the wall till his bum hit the floor, arms coming up to block his head. Hoping to rid himself of all the bad thoughts and feeling tumbling though his mind.

"Harry?" He hears a quiet voice say. Looking up fast he sees that it's Ashton in the door way, a concerned look covering his features. Harry wipes at his eyes and sniffles, choking out a pathetic "Hi," Ashton slips over to the boy's side, sitting down next to him and draping an arm over his shoulder. "After the show do you want to come to mine and hang out? We can watch a film or just cuddle if you'd like." Ashton proposes after a few moments of silence, running his hand though the older lad's hair soothingly. Harry sniffles again, he'd like to hang out with Ashton. Out of the four boys from their opening act he was closest to Ashton. But Louis.

"I-I don't think I can." Harry whispers, his breathing coming too fast and too short. They need to get back on stage, they need to finish the show. "Louis doesn't get back till around 3 most nights, you can stay in my room until then." Ashton shrugs, setting a hand on Harry's knee to give it a squeeze before standing up. Holding out a hand to help the other boy up. When Harry had both feet firmly on the floor Ashton wrapped the boy in a gentle hug, rubbing his back and even giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll find you after the show and you can ride with us back to the hotel, okay?" Ashton says as he pulls back, giving the taller lad a smile when he gets a hesitant nod in return. "Now I think it's time for you to get back on stage." Ashton hums, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the last of Harry's tears. Harry bites his lip, taking a deep breath in though his nose before plastering on a half smile. Ashton pats him on the back as he leads him out of the room and towards the entrance where the other boys are waiting. Harry doesn't look at Louis as he gets ready to take the stage again, keeping his head up and a tight grip on his mic, the other boys sending his concerned looks but he ignores them too. He's strong. He can do this.

***

Harry can't fucking do this. He's going to break. He needs to get out of here now before everyone sees him have a full on meltdown. Luckly Ashton had been true to his word, greeting the boy with a warm hug right as he came off stage for the final time. Both of them ignoring the the other four coming off the stage. Ashton wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and walked him straight to the van waiting outside, one that which already contained the other members of 5 seconds of summer. All three of them greeted him with a smile as he took a seat next to Ashton in the middle, the driver taking off right after the door was shut.

On the way back to the hotel Harry's phone went off saying he had an incoming call from Louis. Ashton saw Harry tense up as he stared at the screen, gentle taking the phone from him and switching it off. Harry gave him a watery smile as they climb out of the van, heading up to their rooms. As soon as the hotel door shut behind Harry, Ashton and Michael, who was sharing a room with Ashton, Harry broke down onto the floor. His mouth open in a silent, pained sob. The dam had completely broke, he was a mess of salty tears and watery sobs as he rocked back and forth on the ground. Michael and Ashton were both squatting in front of him, a hand was combing though his hair while another rubbed soothing circles into his back. After ten straight minutes of Harry laying on the ground curled in on himself Ashton plucked him off the ground and carried him to the bed with ease. Michael pulls back the covers and Ashton laid the older boy down on the bed, removing his shoes and jeans before doing the same to himself. Michael following suit and then both boys crawled into the bed with the crying boy. Sandwiching him in between their bodies.

"Do you want to talk about it H?" Michael asks, his mouth at the boy's ear. Harry shook his head, burring his face into Ashton's shoulder, sucking in a jagged breath as both boys press in closer to him. Surrounding him in warmth and safety. "I just want you to know we're here for you Harry. If you ever need to stay on our bus or in one of our rooms. Or if you just want a cuddle. We're here." Ashton's words make Harry's throat close up, fresh tears falling from his sore, red eyes. There are people who care about him, people who want him to be happy and to smile. He has friends who love him and will do anything for him. Yet all he can do is cry because his boyfriend is suppose to want these things for him, suppose to feel these things for him. And lately all Harry is to Louis is a nice fuck. A piece of property. A toy. Harry wants to be loved. He wants to be Louis' pumpkin, his baby, his everything. Harry just doesn't understand why he isn't anymore.

***

Harry is startled awake by a crack of wood and screaming. He's alone on the bed covered by the blanket from foot to neck, he sits up slowly to see Michael on the floor by the now broken door. Ashton and Louis having a stand off in the middle of the small hallway leading into the room.  
"Get out of my fuckin' way." Louis growls at the younger boy, both his hands balled into tight fist as Ashton blocks his way into the room.

"Louis you need to leave." Is what Ashton replies with, his head held high as his hands fold over his chest. Michael rises from the floor where he had fallen over after trying to shut the door, only for Louis to brake it down as he tried to lock it.  
"Who the fuck do you think you are telling me what to do? I came here for my fuckin' boyfriend you twat. Fuck, we wouldn't be having this god damn discussion if he would have just done what I fuckin' told him to do!" Louis screeches, his accent thicking as he rages on. Harry's breathing starts to pick up, his chest rising and falling fast as he slowly slides off the bed. He wasn't going to let Louis hurt anymore of their friends. Harry pulls on his jeans and shoes as Ashton tries to talk some sense into Louis.  
"Look mate, you need to calm down. Harry was just having a rough night so I brought him in here to sleep. No need to get upset with him."

"To hell with upset! I fuckin' told the curly haired shit to go to our room and wait for me!" Louis roars, taking three steps closer to the Australian lad, their toes almost touching.  
"He's not a dog Louis, he can do what he wants." Michael interrupts, moving to stand by Ashton's side just as Harry makes his way over to the three boys.  
"It's okay guys, I should be getting back to my room now, Louis' right." Harry says, his head down as he comes to stand at Louis' side.  
"Thank you for letting me hang out in here, I'll see you in the morning." Harry smiles doesn't reach his eyes and his voice is hollow as he nods to the two boys in front of him, feeling Louis wrap a hand around his wrist before he's being dragged out of the room, leaving the drummer and guitarist standing in their hotel room. Wanting to help but not knowing how.

***

When Louis and Harry reach their hotel room the older boy jams the key card into the door roughly, his grip on the younger lad tight and possessive. Harry doesn't try to pull his arm back or ask Louis to let him go, he knows either one would just make the situation worse. It was best to stay quiet and let Louis scream and rant and punch the wall and fuck him. When Louis got the door open he yanked Harry into the room, slamming the door shut with force before leading the curly haired boy to the perfectly made bed. Shoving him down onto his back, Harry watching as his boyfriend begins to pace back and forth, his hands balled into fist by his head and his jaw set.

"What did I tell you to do tonight, Harold?" Louis asks, his teeth clenched as he stops in front of the boy, towering over him. Harry brings his legs up to his chin, wrapping his arms tightly around them. His nails digging into his wrist as he answers.  
"You told me not to let anyone but you into this room and not to lock the door."  
Louis' face is red as he yanks Harry's head up by his curls, making the younger lad strain his neck to look up to see his boyfriend's normal blue eyes darkened by anger and rage.  
 _"I told you not to pull any shit."_ Louis hisses, harshly removing his hand from the boy's mess of curls, making the lad's head yerk back into place.  
"You knew I wanted you to be in here till I got back. But instead you go off with fuckin' Ashton and go to his fuckin' hotel room. Am I not good enough for you now Harry? Are you so much of a whore you had to go beg Ashton to fuck you? Did you get on your knees and suck him off like the little slut you are? I bet you did, I bet you just took his cock, let him just use your mouth to get off. You probably even let Michael in on it. Probably begged them both to fuck your tight little arse. Am I right Harold? We're you being a little slut?" Louis' words were like a punch in the gut, jabbing at Harry till he could feel tears leak out of his eyes. Harry couldn't believe Louis thought this lowly of him. Thought that Harry would just go off and beg for someone to fuck him. Sure they did a bit of dirty talk in bed, Louis would call him a slut or a whore as he fucked into Harry, jerking him off as he did. Sure Harry could be a little needy some times and a bit submissive but were these really bad things? Did his boyfriend really think he would go off and cheat? That Louis wasn't enough for him?

"Lou," Harry chokes out, his voice getting caught in his throat as he shook his head back and forth. Fat tears rolling down his face as he looked down at his lap, wishing he could just turn back time. Go back to when Louis really loved him.  
"Are you gonna fuckin' cry like a little bitch now? Fine if you want to act like a slutty little bitch I'll treat you like one." Louis states, reaching out and pushing Harry's onto his back with a swift shove to the chest. Grabbing his arms and moving them above his head with one hand while the other started to work on the zipper of Harry's jeans.  
"You know what people do to bitches like yourself, H?" Louis whispers hotly into the boy's ear, biting down on the lobe with his pointy white teeth. Despise Harry's better judgement and his tears he could feel his dick start to perk up as Louis works on his fly, his breathing tickling the curly haired boy's ear.  
"They fuck 'em. Give 'em what they're always beggin' for. A nice, _thick_ cock. Is that what you want slut? Want my cock?" Louis teases, his voice still rough with a hint of anger but almost completely taken over by lust.  
Harry whimpers softly into the pillow near his head, trying to hid his face but not succeeding.

"Oh no, you're not going to hide from me anymore Harry. You're going to look at me the entire time I fuck you, while you're moaning about how good it feels to have my cock up your arse, when you're coming untouched for me like the slut you are." Louis growls, ripping the pillow away from Harry and tossing it to the ground. Harry sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as Louis starts to work on taking off his jeans, the older lad looking up from underneath his fringe to give the boy a wicked grin.

"If you even think about moving your hands I'll fuck into you dry." Louis threatens, Harry cringing at his words, making the older boy snort as he drags Harry's trousers and pants off. Harry is already half hard, making Louis chuckle and mutter "Slut," under his breath before he starts to shead his own clothes. Harry blinks a few times, wishing he could just curl his legs up to his chest and fold in on himself. He feels so over exposed, so vulnerable. He shouldn't feel this way when his _boyfriend of 4 years touches him_. He should feel loved and relaxed and not guilty of being aroused. Louis pulls out a bottle of lube from his suitcase, manhandling Harry's legs so they were over his shoulders, Louis' kneeling on the bed between them. The older boy squirts a dolop onto his fingers, spreading it over them before moving his hand down to Harry's hole. Louis teases a finger over the tight ring of muscles, his eyes on Harry's face. The younger tries his best not to move his bum away from Louis' fingers, tries not to bury his face into the mattress so he doesn't have to look.

He just wants Louis to stop, he wants him to be the kind, caring Lou Harry fell in love with. The one who always protected him from everyone's teasing and taughting. The boy who would hold Harry though the night, a hand in his hair and another around his waist, legs thrown over Harry and his face buried in his neck. The boy who whispered jokes and compliments into the younger ear. Not disgust and fifly words. Harry wants the boy he loves back. Harry's eyes are gradually filling with more and more tears, blurring his vision as Louis pushes the first finger in, making Harry gasp.  
"Don't know how you're still so tight, always getting fucked." Louis mutters, stabbing his finger in and out fast. Harry whimpers, twisting his head side to side as Louis pushes in another finger. Harry screws his eyes shut, tears spilling out down the sides of his face. He feels Louis other hand wrap around his cock, squeezing it hard, his nails digging into the sensative skin. Harry whines, making Louis tighten his grip and _it hurts_ it hurts so much Harry can't take it his arm shoots down and his hand wraps around Louis' wrist before he can stop himself.

"You're going to regret that." Louis growls, roughly pushing Harry's hand away and pulling his fingers out, flipping the boy onto his stomach in a blink of an eye as more tears descend from Harry's eyes.  
"Please Lou I'm sorry it hurt, I didn't mean to move." Harry sobs, cranking his head around to see Louis with dark eyes, lining up with Harry's hole.  
"Brought this apron yourself," is all Louis says before he's pushing inside, meeting to must resistance but keeps pushing through, making Harry scream out in pain, the stretch and the force almost to much to bare.  
"Shut up," Louis hisses, grabbing onto a handful of Harry's hair, pulling his head back as he bottoms out. Harry lets out a harsh sob, one that racks his whole body as he feels the heavy press of Louis' cock inside him, tearing him apart. Louis starts to move his hips, slow agonying thrusts that have Harry shaking with pain, his vision darting into blackness as Louis fucks him.

"Louis open the door!" He hears Paul scream, a loud bang on the door following. Louis growls, his nails digging into Harry's sides as he turns his head to the door.  
"I'm busy!" He yells back, snapping his hips into Harry, making him cry out again.  
"Open the god damn door!" Someone else yells, he thinks it's Liam but there's a ringing in his ears that makes it hard to tell. Louis huffs and pulls out, making Harry sag with relief, earning him a sharp slap on the bum.  
"I'm not done with you yet." Louis states, pulling on his boxers and stomping to the door.  
" I said go the fuck away." Louis shouts through the door, his arms crossed over his chest. Paul starts to say something back, something along the lines of Harry's safety and opening the door, Harry's not sure, he uses the little strength he has in his body to push himself off the bed and stager into the bathroom, pushing the door shut and turning the lock.  
" _Fucking_ -Harry get out here," Louis hisses, pounding on the door twice. Harry takes in a shaky breath, dropping down into the bathtub and pulls his legs up till his chin is on his knees, whincing at the pain it brings. He flips on the shower so it's on hot, pelting him with little bullets of water.  
"Harry, open the door." Louis' voice comes though the thick wood door of the bathroom, hard and cold. Harry pulls his legs closer to his chest, rocking back and forth as he tugs on his brown locks. He can hear the group of people outside the room yelling at Louis to let them in, to let Harry go. Tears prickle his vision as he replays the sense over and over and over again in his head. How could he be so stupid? So clueless as to what Louis was capable of. How could he have let this happen. He can see blood mixing with the water as it rolls down the drain, can feel his bum burning with the pain. He doesn't know why Louis would do this to him, he doesn't know what he did to make it seem like he was a whore, that Louis wasn't good enough. Louis is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He doesn't care what everyone else thinks. Louis is a great person. He loves him so so much and this doesn't change that. What changes things though is that Harry can't keep living like this, he can't. He can't deal with the pain and the heartache. He's not strong enough.

Harry sucks in a sharp breath, water running down his face as he looks up at the ceiling. He takes in a shaky, deep breath before reaching out for Louis' razor, he pops out the blade and puts the handle on the side of the tub.  
"Louis," he calls out, his voice cracking and his vision dotted, his bum hurts so much, so does his head. And his heart.  
"What?" Louis snaps and Harry can tell he's gritting his teeth together, can tell he's leaning on the door, his arms above his head and his hair dangling in his beautifully blue eyes. He can picture it in his head. He closes his eyes and pictures him smiling, kissing his nose and calling him his baby. He thinks of Louis holding him close at night after a long day of interveiws and promos. He thinks of his Louis. The boy that can make him smile with a simple word or look. The boy that has had his heart since he was 16 years old.  
"I love you," Are Harry's last words.

***  
 _Last night in a Chicgao hotel room singer Harry Styles, 20, from the popular boy One Direction was found dead in his hotel bathroom by band mate Louis Tomlinson. It is said to be believed the two were sharing a hotel room the night of the incident. Other residents of the hotel said they heard screaming and loud banging coming from the floor booked out by the band. "There was a lot of shouting and people were pounding on the door and someone sounded like they were in a lot of pain." A witness who was on the floor below said. According to the police report Styles death was said to be a suicide, we do not have the detail of how or why yet but we are hoping to have a report by the end of the week. Fans all over the world are devastated by the news of their beloved boy bander. An ambulance was called around 4:23 am yesterday morning by band road manager Paul Higgins. Styles was declared dead on the scene. His band mates have not released a statement yet on what this means for the band or on why Styles would have done this. His mother and sister have refused to comment and have asked to be left alone to grieve._

_***_

_Breaking news 22 year old Louis Tomlinson of Doncaster England has been arrested for domestic abuse, the rape and assisting of suicide of belated spouse Harry Styles. After being interrogated by police Tomlinson had confessed to raping Styles the night of his death, ending in Styles taking his own life. Liam Payne, friend of both men and band mate, came forward and told police the day of Styles death that Tomlinson had assaulted four to five people including Styles that day. Tomlinson is being flown back to England where he will await trial. Fans of the band One Direction have been outraged and disgusted by both the news of the two men being together and of Tomlinson's crimes._

_***_

_After the death of Harry Styles last year Louis Tomlinson, band mate and boyfriend to the deceased has been found guilty of domestic abuse, rape in the first degree and assisting in a suicide. Tomlinson was sentenced to 25 to life with possibility of parole. In court Tomlinson said; "I can't believe what I've done. The last thing I heard him say was I love you. After all the sh** I put him through he still loved me. I deserve to go to prison." The winning testimony was said to be giving by Liam Payne after he told in detail how Tomlinson had been acting for the past year prior to Styles death. "He would get really anger at the crew and start to shout at Harry, he ordered him around like a dog and was always pulling on his arm or hair." Payne went on to tell about that tragic day and how himself and band mates had to watch the medics lift Styles body out of the bathtub. "It was really surreal, Louis was in the corner and he wasn't moving and Niall and Zayn were crying and I just couldn't believe that was Harry. He couldn't be gone." After giving his testimony Payne stepped off the stand as Tomlinson was called up. Reports caught the two in the middle of the room, both teary eyed as they exchanged a few words and where Tomlinson thanked Payne and gave him a hug. Throughout the trail various witnesses were called to the stand to testify, all saying remotely the same thing how Tomlinson and Styles had a great relationship at the start and as their fame and success grew their relationship turned sour. The last thing Tomlinson said on the stands shocked the court room and almost led the jury to find him not guilty. "Harry was always this ray of sunshine in my life, from the first day I just knew he was meant for something great. He was such a kind and caring person while I was just this massive prick. But he still loved me. He didn't know but when he went on a trip to LA in 2013 I went out with some mates and got smashed. Someone had drugged my drink and taken me back to their place. They, they, well they did what I did to Harry. And I blamed him in a way, for having to be gone. I thought that it never would have happened if he didn't have to jet out to LA every other week. That I wouldn't be as lonely. So I took it out on him and everyone around me. We grew more popular and our management push us further into the closet and I just couldn't take it. And Harry paid for it. He shouldn't have, I should have been the one to die in that tub, not him. He was to good for this world and I made him think he was scum. I disgust myself." The jury was moved but not enough for a different verdict. The last remaining bandmembers have all went their separate ways, Niall Horan, 21, has started traveling as a guitarist and singer with the likes of Ed Sheeran and 5 Seconds of Summer. Zayn Malik, 22, has been working on his own album rapping with Naughty Boy and other artists. Payne has opened his own a record company over the past year and is now looking to start a new branch for young singer looking to make it big. Tomlinson has been sent to HM Prison Blantyre House in Goudhurst Kent to serve his sentence. Today marks the year anniversary of Styles death, hundreds of flowers have been set out at his grave to mark the day._

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the vine if you wanna look at it https://vine.co/v/MEhulwmI3Yj


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